Ada Knows Best
by MistyC
Summary: 16 year old Estel is forbidden to join his brothers on patrol, so he takes matters into his own hands. 2006 MEFA nominee. 2nd place MC awards Young Drama category
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimers: None of the characters are mine, and I make no money from this. All of the characters and the world of Middle earth belong to Tolkien. 

' thoughts '

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Chapter One

"Why not?"

Elrond looked at his youngest son and only with the greatest effort did he hold back a long-suffering sigh. "Because I said so."

"That is not a reason, Ada," Estel said.

This time, Elrond didn't manage to hold back the sigh. "I have given you many reasons, Estel. You simply will not hear them." This particular conversation had gone on for nearly an hour, and Lord Elrond was nearing his wit's end. "You will not change my mind by wearing me down, Estel. You are not going on patrol with your brothers today. You are not yet ready."

"But I am ready, Ada. I have been on many hunts with my brothers." He looked over to Elladan and Elrohir, who were each perusing a book in an effort to keep from being drawn into the argument. " 'Dan, 'Ro, tell him. I'm nearly as good with a bow as you, and I have been doing very well in my swordfighting lessons. You told me that not two days ago."

Elladan closed his eyes, then opened them and turned to face his human brother. "Yes, I did say that. And it was true. You are doing very well at _learning_ to fight. But you are still learning, Estel. You need more training before you put yourself in a position where you may have to fight for your life."

Estel glared at him with a betrayed look in his eyes. "On the last hunt, I was the first to shoot a stag. I am well trained in the techniques of battle."

Elrond spoke to focus Estel's attention on him. "All of the hunts that you have been on have been well within the protected boundaries of Imladris. It is too dangerous for you to venture further. You will be a great warrior one day, Estel. I simply want to keep you alive long enough to grow into the man you will become."

"I am not a child, Ada," Estel protested.

Elrond looked at his sixteen year old son and just barely managed to hide his amusement. "To one who has seen three ages of Middle-earth, you _are_ still a child, Estel."

"Ai, Elbereth, Ada!"

"Estel, " Elrond said warningly.

"Sorry, Ada," Estel responded quickly. "But if you use that to judge my age, I will never be old enough to leave Imladris. I am a human, Ada. I do not age as elves do. While I may seem a child to you, in the world of men, I am full grown."

At Elrond's raised eyebrow and knowing gaze, Estel amended his statement. "Well, I am nearly an adult."

"Then, as an adult, you will accept that I am only doing what is best for you, Estel. When you are older and more experienced, you can go on patrol."

"How am I to gain experience if I cannot leave the safe borders of Imladris?" Estel was getting rather frustrated at his father's continuing refusal to allow him to go on patrol.

Elrond decided a slight change in topic was needed. "Have your brothers ever told you the tale of their first patrol?"

At Elrond's words, two identical faces turned toward Elrond in horror.

"No, Ada!"

"You wouldn't!"

Estel looked quizzically at the twins, then back at his father. "They told me that they encountered a band of orcs, fought them off, and returned home with only minor injuries." He glanced back at his brothers, who were looking at their father with pleading eyes. "But was that not the truth?"

"Only partly," Elrond answered. "For their first patrol, I had them ride with Glorfindel's patrol. He was one of the few I trusted to keep them under control."

"Ada!" two voices protested in unison.

Elrond ignored them. "Glorfindel had enough experience with them to be wary, but he agreed to allow them to join his patrol. And, you were correct, Estel. They did run into a band of orcs. There was a fierce battle, during which Elladan received an arrow through his leg. Glorfindel removed the arrow and bandaged his leg before they returned home."

Estel was confused. "That is much the same story I was told, Ada." He glanced over at the twins, who were beginning to turn an interesting shade of red. "What is wrong?"

A small smile touched Elrond's lips. "I believe your brothers left out one small detail. It was not an orc arrow that Glorfindel pulled from Elladan's leg."

"Then who shot the arrow?" Estel was confused once more.

"The arrow bore Elrohir's markings," Elrond said.

Estel spun to face Elrohir, his mouth falling open in surprise. "You shot Elladan?"

Elrohir shrugged self-consciously. "I had never been in a real battle before. Things were…confused. Elladan moved in front of the orc I was aiming at, but I had already released the arrow."

"Your memory grows dim with the passing years, brother. I did not move in front of your arrow. You simply missed your target."

"I did not miss, Elladan. You…"

"Enough," Elrond said firmly, interrupting the argument. "Have you not tired of this argument after more than two thousand years?"

"You brought it up, Ada," Elladan pointed out.

"And I regret it," Elrond replied. He turned back to Estel. "Your brothers had had many more years of training than you, and they still ended up injuring each other. It was many more years before they were allowed to re-join any of the patrols. I only want you to have more training before you go out. You can go when you are older."

"How much older, Ada? Seventeen? Twenty, thirty, fifty? How old must I be before I am an adult in your eyes?" He was frustrated with Elrond's persistent refusal.

"Older than you are now," Elrond responded firmly. "You are not going today, Estel. Now stop arguing and let your brothers go on their way."

Estel narrowed his eyes, but reluctantly gave in. When his father had that tone of voice, there really was no changing his mind. "Very well, Ada, you know best." His tone was grudging.

Now that the argument was over, the twins approached their little brother.

"Your time will come, Estel," Elrohir said.

"And we will continue your training as soon as we get back" Elladan offered.

Estel just nodded glumly. The twins looked at each other, then at their father.

He nodded to them, indicating that they should go. "Be careful, my sons. Stay alert."

"As always, Ada," Elladan said. They returned their father's nod, then turned and left the room.

Estel wandered out to the nearest balcony to watch as his brothers double-checked their travel packs, mounted their horses, and rode out of Imladris with the other three elves in their patrol.

Elrond watched Estel on the balcony. He knew Estel would have given anything to be able to ride out with his brothers. 'Why do the young ones always want to grow up so quickly?' He turned away and closed his eyes. Aragorn, son of Arathorn, was destined to have a difficult life full of hardship. Elrond knew that one day, he would have to tell him the full truth and set him on his path. That time had not yet come. Estel was still innocent and unknowing of the perils that lay before him. Elrond wanted to keep him that way as long as possible. For now, Estel was simply his son, not heir to the throne of Gondor and Arnor. And it may have been selfish, but he was not yet ready to share his son with all of Middle-Earth. Estel would grow up quickly enough. For now, Elrond would keep him here, where it was safe. He would allow Estel to enjoy those years of his childhood that yet remained, whether Estel appreciated it or not.

Elrond approached his son. "Estel?"

Estel turned to face him. "May I be excused, Ada?"

Elrond nodded. "Of course." He sighed as he watched Estel walk toward his room. 'Estel is angry with me now', Elrond mused. 'But at least he is safe.'

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Estel stomped into his room and threw himself onto his bed. He lay on his back and brought his arms back to rest underneath his head. "Ada doesn't understand," he muttered. "He does not know what it is to be the only human in a house of elves. I am nothing more than a child to all of them. Compared to them, I will never be anything else. On my deathbed, they would still not consider me an adult. Ada will never let me leave Imladris."

Estel lay on his back and pondered his options. 'I have to prove to him that I am not a child. That will not happen here. I can follow the patrol and reveal myself when they are too far from home to send me back. Ada will not be happy, though. He will be sure to assign me kitchen duty, or make me clean the stables for the next few weeks. If I can prove my point, though, the punishment will be well worth it.' The longer he thought about it, the better the idea seemed. He began making his plans. Leaving now would not be a good idea, for his absence would be noticed too quickly. Besides, he needed time to prepare.

From the hunts he had participated in, he knew he would need to pack food, healing herbs, and warm clothing to fight off the evening chill. Some of that could be packed now, but Elrond would ask questions if he started gathering medicines and herbs from his father's rooms. He would wait until the others went to sleep tonight. Then he would gather the supplies and weapons he would need. If he left a couple of hours before dawn, he would have a good amount of time before he was missed. The idea of traveling in the dark worried him, but this way, he would still be in familiar territory while it was dark. He wasn't worried about trailing the patrol. Out of all his lessons, he was best at tracking. His brothers had not been able to throw him off their trail for nearly a year. He had learned to read every mark upon the ground as easily as one would read a book. In fact, tracking was easier than trying to read many of the books in his father's library.

He got up and started packing his bag, then hid it under the bed. He joined his father for the evening meal and acted like the argument earlier in the day had never happened. Guilt struck him when Elrond seemed relieved that the argument was seemingly forgotten. However, he had made up his mind, and he couldn't let a little guilt stop him.

He went to bed at his normal time and waited. Once the house grew still, he quietly crept around, gathering herbs, food and weapons. Going back to his room, he packed it all up, and stored it safely under his bed. Satisfied, he lay down to rest for a couple of hours. His excitement and nervousness did not allow him to sleep long, and he easily woke up hours before the rest of the household. After dressing warmly, he grabbed his supplies and crept out of the house to the stables. He saddled his horse and quickly left the protected valley, following the same path his brothers had taken earlier. Knowing where they planned to go, he did not have to worry about tracking them in the dark.

The further from Imladris he got, the more relaxed he became. He wasn't often able to get out on his own; oh, he had free reign to wander Imladris as he liked, and he often took solitary walks. There was just something different about truly being out on his own, though. Now, he was the only one responsible for himself. Here, there was no one looking out for him, trying to protect him from harm. He felt…free. He looked up through the branches of the trees to the sky above. It was a cloudless night, and the moon was nearly full, casting a warm glow over the world below. Estel didn't have the sharper vision of the elves, but there was enough light that he had no trouble seeing the path in front of him.

Peeking down through the tops of the trees was Valacirca, the Sickle of the Valar. Menelmacar and Elenhu were his favorite constellations, but they only showed themselves in the winter, and it was still early fall. He loved gazing at the stars. Growing up among the elves, he had acquired a great reverence for the stars. He could still remember the first time his father took him up on the roof and told him about the celestial hunt involving the Swordsman of the sky and his canine companion. The guilt brought about by the memory was quickly pushed aside.

As he rode on, he enjoyed the silence and the beauty of the forest. The world around him brightened as the sun rose slowly over the horizon. As the sun lit the forest, he could clearly see the tracks of the patrol he was following. They had half a day's lead on him, so he knew that he could not waste time if he wished to catch up to them. He traveled quickly throughout the day, following his brother's tracks, only stopping when necessary to give his horse a chance to rest. When night fell, he allowed himself to stop and make camp for the night. He knew he was making good time and should catch up with them in the morning.


	2. Chapter 2

Hi all, sorry for the delay. I've been fighting with the document manager to upload this for three days. I will try to upload the other chapters on a timely basis, assuming the site cooperates.

So here's the next chapter.

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Chapter Two

Elrond went down to the dining room for the morning meal. He frowned when he saw that Estel had not yet come downstairs. As a growing teenager, he was usually the first at the table. Elrond waited until he had finished his meal before heading up to Estel's room. He didn't want to overreact, but if Estel missed a meal, he may very well be ill. Elrond knocked on the door, then, when he received no response, he slowly opened the door and peeked inside. The room was empty. Elrond pushed the door open and walked inside. He looked carefully around the room and discovered that Estel's travel bags were missing.

He closed his eyes and leaned back against the door as the implication set in. "Oh, Estel," he murmured. "What have you done?" He pushed away from the door and moved through Estel's room, checking to see what else was missing. Some of Estel's clothing was gone, as well as his favorite knife. Wandering back to his own rooms, he looked through his collection of herbs and medicines. He had made sure that Estel knew never to travel without the supplies necessary for treating injuries. He was relieved to find a decent selection of his supplies missing. "At least he listened to something I told him," Elrond muttered. Knowing Estel's next stop would have been the armory, he soon found Estel's favorite sword missing, along with a bow and a quiver of arrows.

Erestor approached Elrond as he walked back into the house. "Lord Elrond, the cooks have informed me that some of the food they had prepared for today's meals is missing."

Elrond sighed. "That is hardly the only item missing. Estel has apparently decided to follow his brothers. From what I can determine, he is well supplied for a journey of several days."

"Shall I send a patrol out to look for him?"

Elrond seriously considered it for a moment. He was not happy that Estel had snuck off in the night, and he was more than a little worried about Estel's safety. The father in him wanted nothing more than to race out and drag his son back home, where he would be safe. But if he did that, he would be showing Estel that he did not trust him. Sixteen years was a mere blink of an eye to an elf, but Elrond had to admit that Estel was growing up. He had to allow him to grow up and make his own mistakes. He just hoped that Estel was able to return home safely. It was one of the most difficult things to say, but he had to say it. "No, do not send a patrol after him."

Erestor's eyes widened in surprise, and he nodded slowly before beginning to turn away.

"Wait," Elrond said, as he thought of something. "Please alert any patrols already scheduled to be watching for Estel. If they happen across him, they are to inform him that he is to stay with them on their route and return home with them."

"Of course, my lord," Erestor said, smiling as he turned away.

Elrond looked briefly upward as he uttered a prayer. "Ilúvatar, watch over my headstrong son; keep him safe."

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Estel woke with the sun the next morning. He quickly broke camp and had a quick meal of the food he had brought from home. After preparing his horse, he easily swung up into the saddle. He began following the trail left by his brothers' patrol. As he rode, he breathed in and enjoyed the rich scent of the forest around him and his freedom. He knew he should be catching up to the patrol in a couple of hours.

After nearly an hour, he noticed unfamiliar tracks crossing the path ahead of him. Estel frowned and stopped his horse. Dismounting, he knelt to examine the tracks. He reached out and traced his finger lightly over the tracks. They seemed to have been made by heavy, booted feet. The marks were much heavier than those made by elves, and much wider than those of most men. He was unsure of what had made these tracks, but a knot of fear began to form in the pit of his stomach. The patrol had been sent out to check for orc activity. If he found unfamiliar tracks, there was a good chance that they could belong to orcs. Looking up, he studied his surroundings carefully. The same woods that he had been enjoying moments before had taken on a sinister cast. He slowly rose to his feet and mounted his horse, then looked over his shoulder at the path back home.

He had come out here intending to meet up with the patrol, not encounter those fell creatures on his own. The orc tracks, if that was indeed what they were, overlaid the tracks of the patrol. That alerted him that the beings were now between him and the patrol. His heart quickened at the thought of meeting the same evil creatures that had murdered his parents. But if the patrol was being followed by a large party of orcs, as the tracks indicated, they could be in trouble. He wasn't sure how much he would be able to aid five very capable elven warriors, but one more fighter could make all the difference. He closed his eyes and gathered up his courage. Signaling his horse to move forward, he sent up a quick plea to Ilúvatar: keep him from being killed.

Estel rode forward slowly, keeping an eye on the woods around him, and a hand on his sword. He was ready for anything. Anything, that is, except for what he found around the next bend. His horse sensed it before he did and shied nervously sideways. Estel calmed his horse, then dismounted and crept cautiously forward, staying near the side of the path.

A chill ran through his body, and he realized that something was terribly wrong. The forest was silent, still, mourning. A sense of evil hung heavy in the air. He nearly stumbled over the first body, then drew back in horror at the evil creature before him.

Memories long buried rushed to the surface. - Beings just like the one in front of him attacking him and his parents as they traveled through the woods. - His father falling before his terrified eyes. The memories were only fragments, disjointed, but all the more terrifying for the lack of completeness. He had only been two years old when that happened. He had thought he had no memories of that time, but now he could feel the terror that he had felt then.

He shook his head abruptly to clear the memories from his mind. It was important to control his fear, to think rationally. Such emotional reactions could get him killed. He looked back at the orc in front of him and noticed the elven arrow protruding from his back. It was difficult, but he forced himself to move past the dead orc to the clearing beyond. More bodies were scattered on the ground around him. Though he did not want to, he looked at each one, at least long enough to determine if it was orc or elf. The fear was rising quickly that he would find the body of someone he knew, maybe even one of his brothers.

The stench in the clearing was nearly enough to overpower him, and he swallowed convulsively to keep down the bile rising in his throat. Breathing through his mouth, he moved from one body to the next. He saw a spot of green cloth on the ground, and his heart nearly stopped. 'Orcs don't wear green.' The insane thought flickered through his mind, and he dashed to the place where he had seen the splash of color. He pushed aside an orc body, and saw the slim form of an elf lying on the ground.

"No," Estel moaned. He reached forward with a shaking hand and pushed the dark hair out of the elf's face. A familiar face stared back at him. The eyes looking off into the distance were glazed over. The being in front of him was long past any help he could offer. Nausea rose up in him, and he moved away, going to his knees and retching uncontrollably. When he had emptied his stomach, he moved away and sat on the ground, leaning tiredly against a tree. He gazed back at the elf, whose open eyes stared blankly at him.

"Gelmir," Estel whispered his name. Looking away from those staring eyes, he only saw more death surrounding him. He closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the tree. "Oh, Ada. Why didn't I listen to you? You were right. I don't belong out here." Estel couldn't help himself, and looked back at Gelmir. The elf had been a friend of Elladan and Elrohir's for over a thousand years. He had accepted Estel from the moment the twins brought him to Imladris. He had been kind and patient, always willing to answer the questions of a very curious child.

Estel brought his knees up to his chest, wrapped his arms around his legs, lowered his head to rest on his knees, and wept. He had never felt so alone in his life, so scared. The pain, fear and grief welled up inside him, and surged through him, overwhelming his mind. The pain swept over him like a wave, drowning him. He couldn't think, he could barely breathe. He lost himself to his grief for long moments, and didn't know how much time had passed.

When his senses slowly came back to him, he looked helplessly around the clearing. What was he to do now? His brother's patrol had obviously been set upon by a large band of orcs. One elf was dead, and the other four were missing. The little color remaining in his face drained away as he realized what that must mean.

His brothers were in the hands of orcs.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

Elrohir studied his surroundings carefully. He and the other captive elves were tied up in the back of a cave. They had been forced in here shortly before sunrise, as the orcs could not stand sunlight. The orcs had tossed them against the walls, then settled down to sleep. There were a few orcs standing guard that would sound the alarm if the elves made so much as one wrong move. Findegil and Ciril, the other elves in their patrol were lying against the opposite wall, while Elladan was lying next to him. Elrohir was not able to tell how badly the other elves were hurt, but the one he was most worried about was Elladan. Elladan had a large, bloody gash on his left temple. He had been unconscious for far too long.

Elrohir shifted, trying to find a more comfortable position, and hissed sharply from the pain the movement caused. 'Maybe I should be worried about my own injuries,' he thought. Elrohir knew, though, that even if his injuries were extremely painful, none of them were life threatening. He had a couple of bruised or cracked ribs, he wasn't sure which, and numerous cuts and bruises caused by abuse from the orcs, but the worst injury he had suffered was the jagged arrow wound in his leg. The wound had not been treated, and as long as he was captive, it wouldn't be. He was almost sure the arrow had not been poisoned, but the injury could still grow infected.

His mind drifted back to the moment he had acquired the wound. He and the other elves had been fighting an overwhelming number of orcs. Even though they were so badly outnumbered, they had been holding their own, and killing a great number of orcs while acquiring only minor injuries themselves. Somehow, though, they had missed an orc archer in the trees. The arrow had lodged in Elrohir's leg before he realized there was any danger from that direction. The pain and shock had sent him sprawling to the ground. Elladan had immediately leaped to his defense. Elrohir had managed to struggle back to his feet, but the injury hampered his movements, slowed him down when he could least afford it. Once he was injured, Elladan had tried to pick up his slack and had taken on too many enemies. In the end, it mattered not how many orcs they had managed to kill. There were always more to take their place. They had been overwhelmed. Once the bodies littering the ground began to hamper their movements, the elves were swarmed by the numerous remaining orcs. The elves had been tackled to the ground, one by one, and beaten into submission.

Elladan had taken a blow to the head early on, and once he was unconscious, the orcs had mostly left him alone. They had more fun beating on elves that could feel and react to pain. That was when Elrohir had acquired the injuries to his ribs. And sometime during those endless moments when the orcs were hitting, kicking, and stomping on him, the arrow had been ripped painfully from his leg. When the orcs had forced him and the other elves to their feet at the point of many swords and knives, Elrohir had been terrified to see that Elladan did not get up. He had barely been able to breathe in his fear for his brother until one of the orcs leaned over Elladan and put a hand in front of his face.

"He still breathes," the orc had said to the one in charge. "What should we do with him?"

"Tie him up and drag him with us," the other orc replied.

"No!" Elrohir had cried out. He could not bear to have his brother dragged along the ground like so much unwanted refuse. "I will carry him."

"Your leg will not allow it," Findegil protested. "_I_ will carry him."

The orcs wanted to play with their captives, but the sun would be coming up soon, and they needed to get to shelter, so they had allowed Findegil to carry Elladan. Ciril had offered to carry Gelmir, but when an orc rolled him over, they could all see the orc knife in his heart.

"No point in bringing that one," the orc leader had said. "Leave him for the wolves."

Elrohir had struggled against the orcs at that point. He could not leave Gelmir there for just any predator who came along. He stopped struggling when one of the orcs put his sword to Elladan's throat and offered to leave two elves behind for the wolves.

The four remaining elves were bound and marched quickly through the forest to the caves the orcs intended to take refuge in. Elrohir's leg caused him to stumble numerous times, and every time he fell, he was beaten until he staggered back to his feet and managed to hobble a few more steps. All in all, Elrohir rather wished he were back home in the care of his father. He hated being a patient, but some of those teas that his father used to help with pain sounded pretty good right now.

Elrohir's attention was drawn to Elladan as he moaned softly and moved his head.

"Elladan?" Elrohir spoke softly. He needed to talk to Elladan, but he didn't want to attract the attention of their guards.

"'Ro?" Elladan questioned softly. He struggled to open his eyes. When he had managed to force them open, he looked around the cave until his eyes came to rest on his slightly younger brother. "Why are you blurry?" He closed his eyes again and concentrated on trying to clear the cobwebs from his mind.

Elrohir didn't like that question. "You took a blow to the head in battle. You probably have a concussion."

Elladan opened his eyes again and squinted at his brother. "I think you're right. It's not serious, though. I have a headache the size of a Múmak, but that is all." His vision was beginning to clear up, and he took a closer look at his brother. Elrohir's face was covered in cuts and bruises, he was holding himself very stiffly upright, and Elladan frowned as he saw the injury to Elrohir's leg. "You're still bleeding. How long has it been since the battle? We need to get the bleeding stopped, El."

Elrohir rolled his eyes as his brother's protective instincts took control. "And how would you propose we do that? Are you going to ask the orcs for some bandages and clean water? Do not worry, Elladan. The bleeding has slowed considerably in the last hour. I will be fine. You are the one I was worried about."

"Well, I am awake now, and I believe I am in better shape than you. Just how _did_ you manage to get yourself shot in the leg?"

"You were there, Elladan. You know as well as I do how it happened."

Elladan thought for a moment, remembering the battle before his mind drifted back to the conversation they had had with their father and brother before leaving. "At least I was not the one to shoot you."

Elrohir couldn't help the small snort of laughter. "You do realize that Ada and Estel will never let us live that down. Or this either, probably."

"We can blame it on Ada," Elladan said. "If he had not brought up the tale, this would not have happened."

"Somehow, I doubt Ada will see it that way," Elrohir muttered. He closed his eyes, then opened them and looked at his brother. "I am just glad Estel is home, where it is safe. I could not bear it if he were here with us."

"Ada was correct in keeping him home this trip," Elladan concurred. As his vision was slowly getting back to normal, he glanced around the cave, seeing the other two elves tied up on the opposite side of the cave. As he looked around, he realized that someone was missing. "Gelmir?" he asked Elrohir.

Elrohir shook his head gravely and looked away.

Elladan closed his eyes and lowered his head. Gelmir had been a good friend. He would be sorely missed. Elladan forced his mind back to their current situation. While they were inside this cave, an escape would be impossible. Their best chance would come when the orcs were ready to move out at nightfall again. He was sure Elrohir was underplaying his injuries, and was unsure if he would be in any condition to help with an escape attempt. He knew, however, that Elrohir would do anything he could to help them escape, even if it required running through the forest on that leg. They could not discuss it yet, and truly, he had no plan in mind, but he knew that they could not remain captive for longer than this one day. Orcs were notorious for torturing any elves they captured. They were just lucky that the orcs wanted sleep more than entertainment right now. He knew that would soon change, though. They had to be long gone before the orcs grew bored or restless. Looking across the cave, he caught the eyes of the two elves tied up there. He shifted his eyes toward the entrance of the cave and then looked back at them. They both nodded slowly to him. Whatever he chose to do, they would be ready to follow his lead.

He looked back at Elrohir and saw the trust in his brother's eyes that they would get out of this. Elrohir nodded to him as well. He would also be ready. 'Great,' Elladan thought sarcastically. 'Everyone will be ready to follow my plan. Now I just need to come up with one.' He leaned his head back against the stone wall and closed his eyes, trying desperately to come up with an escape plan.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

Estel stared blankly in front of him as his mind raced. His brothers were in danger, probably hurt, and no one knew but him. What was he to do? If he rode home for help, the orcs would get further away with their captives. It was a good day's ride back to Imladris, then another day back here. Going back for help was not an option. Too much could happen to the patrol in two days.

He could track the orcs, but once he found them, what could he do? If there were enough orcs to take his brothers captive, he would not be able to attack them on his own. That would be a sure way to get killed or captured.

Maybe if he caused a distraction, the elves would be able to fight their way out. But what kind of distraction could he make that would be effective and not get him killed? His eyes roamed aimlessly over the battlefield and the forest as he tried to think. He scanned the forest around him several times, and his eyes kept coming back to a vine on his left. The heart shaped leaves of the vine seemed to beckon to him. He stared at it for a moment, frowning. What was his mind trying to tell him? If he could remember the name of the vine, maybe he could figure it out. He wracked his memory trying to remember his father's lessons.

"Pergurth!" he nearly shouted. That was it! 'Half-death?' he thought, 'Why is it called that?' His eyes widened as the memory came to him. This plant, prepared correctly, acted as a paralyzing poison. In small concentrations, it could be used to stop convulsions or be used to keep someone absolutely still for a difficult surgery. At higher doses, though, it could be used as a quick acting poison. At high enough concentrations, an arrow dipped in this poison could stop an orc in his tracks with nothing more than a scratch. The poison, once introduced to the bloodstream, began acting almost instantly to paralyze all the muscles in the body. Unless the antidote was administered, the victims would die a slow, painful death as their lungs stopped working.

As his mind focused on his father's lessons, more ideas came to him. A determination settled over him. He was going to rescue his brothers, and the forest would give him everything he needed. But there was something else he needed to do first.

He stood up and called for his horse. The call would bring any elvish horses trained in Imladris directly to him. His horse came up to him and nickered softly. It did not like being this close to the dead orcs. Estel reached out and stroked the horse's neck. "I know," he said softly. "I do not like it here either." He turned as three more horses came slowly out of the forest. Gelmir's horse was among them. Bringing the horse with him, he slowly approached the body of the fallen elf. It took all his courage to pull the knife from Gelmir's body. He asked the horse to lay down, then clumsily maneuvered the body onto the horse's back. After securing the body, he allowed the horse to stand up.

It was time to ask for help. He wrote a quick note telling Elrond where the battle had taken place and that he planned to follow the orcs. The note asked that as many warriors as could be spared be sent to help. He knew that line was completely unnecessary. As soon as Elrond knew that all three of his sons were in danger, he would summon every warrior in Imladris. Estel attached the note to the body, then whispered to the horse to return home as swiftly as he could. Once the horse was gone, he turned back to the battlefield and began rummaging among the orc bodies for discarded weapons. If the elves of the patrol were going to be fighting their way free, they would need weapons. Estel gathered what he would need from the battlefield and the surrounding woods, then mounted his horse and began following the trail left by the orcs. He implored the other two horses to follow him. They may be needed for the escape.

The orcs had left a clear path through the forest that required none of his tracking skills. It took less than an hour of travel to reach the end of the trail. He peered through the trees at the entrance of the cave. The entrance was narrow, only wide enough for two to stand side by side. The clearing in front of the cave and the surrounding forest floor were both covered in leaves. Estel smiled grimly. A lot of things could be hidden under leaves. After retreating to a safe distance, he started a small fire so that he could begin preparing the poison. The process would take several hours, so he had to get it started immediately. Once the initial preparation was complete, he left the mixture to dry into a thicker consistency appropriate for tipping arrows. There were not many hours before nightfall, so Estel had to race to prepare the surprises he had planned for the orcs. Even though he had felt that he was making more poison than he could possibly have used, he almost did not have enough. Since there was always the possibility that he or one of the elves would accidentally be poisoned, he also prepared the antidote. However, he had never actually made either the poison or the antidote, so he was unsure if either would work, but there was really no way to test it.

Just before dusk, Estel crept close to the cave. He had to make sure his brothers would be ready for his surprises. In their many years of battles, the twins had developed a series of calls that could be used to signal each other, but not alert the enemy. They had taught these calls to Estel on their hunting trips. Each of them had a personal bird call used to identify themselves. Estel used his call, repeating it three times to be sure that his brothers did not simply think the call came from a real bird. The next code he used was often used during hunts. It indicated that the person using the call was going to flush the game from it's hiding place, and the others should be ready. There was no call that meant 'watch out for traps and be ready to fight your way free'. This was as close as he could get. He only hoped they heard his signal and knew what it meant.

-------------------------------------

Elladan glanced toward the entrance to the cave. Night was falling, and they would soon be moving outside. From what he had overheard from the orcs, they were planning on amusing themselves with their captives as soon as they left the cave. He still didn't have a clear plan, but he knew they would have to fight their way out. The best idea he had involved trying to get weapons away from the orcs and killing as many of them as they could, but he was worried about Elrohir. Those injuries would slow him down enough to make battle difficult.

Elrohir nudged him sharply in the ribs. Elladan looked over at him inquiringly.

"Lasto," Elrohir whispered.

Elladan listened, wondering what Elrohir had heard. A second later, he heard it; a very unique bird call that was then repeated.

"Estel?" he questioned softly. He turned to Elrohir with fear in his eyes. "What is he doing here?"

Elrohir shook his head mutely, asking Elladan to stay silent for a moment more. They both heard the next call.

"Be ready?" Elrohir whispered questioningly. "What does he wish us to be ready for?"

"A rescue attempt." Elladan spoke softly, but with certainty. "Somehow, he plans to rescue us."

"Why did Ada allow Estel to accompany a rescue party?" Elrohir was more than a little confused.

"Ada would not have," Elladan replied. "I believe Estel is here on his own. He must have followed us."

The horror on Elrohir's face matched the fear in Elladan's heart. Their much younger, very inexperienced human brother was about to go up against a very large band of orcs.

"He will be killed," Elrohir whispered anxiously.

"We will have to keep that from happening," Elladan said firmly. "Whatever plan he has, it will be our responsibility to make sure it succeeds." He looked briefly toward the cave entrance. "Estel has a very devious mind. We should be prepared for anything."


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

Estel moved back to his chosen position and concealed himself among the bushes around the clearing. As his brothers had taught him, he remained still and hidden while he waited for the approach of his prey. The orcs soon began swarming out of the cave. Estel was greatly relieved to see the four missing elves walk out of the cave under their own power. Elrohir was limping badly, but they were all alive and seemed mostly well. He frowned as he watched the orcs form a circle around the captive elves. This could not be a good thing. It was time.

He had three arrows wrapped in flammable rags, and quickly lit them. In rapid succession, he fired two of the arrows into pre-arranged piles of leaves. These piles consisted of Narasea, fire-leaf, which burned with a radiance nearly that of the sun, and gave off great clouds of smoke. He had also included a great number of acorns, which exploded when exposed to flames. Combined, these objects used light, smoke and noise to create a lot of confusion. The third arrow, he fired into the midst of the orcs. It lodged in the leg of one unfortunate orc and caught his clothing on fire. The orc flailed around, bumping into other orcs, catching them on fire.

Into the midst of this chaos, Estel yelled out in Elvish, telling the four elves where to find the hidden weapons and antidote. He also told them of the meeting point where he had left the horses. He watched the elves dive for the weapons, then gulped as he saw a number of orcs head in his direction. They had pinpointed his location. It was difficult, but he forced himself to hold his position. 'Just a few more steps,' he thought.

The first row of orcs advancing on his position suddenly felt the ground drop out from beneath their feet. Estel had wanted to dig a pit large enough for the orcs to fall into. Given his time and tool constraints, though, he had only been able to dig a trench several inches deep. This trench caused several orcs to lose their balance and fall forward, directly onto the dozens of small poison tipped wooden spikes that Estel had prepared. The orcs who fell did not get up again, and the others stopped momentarily, confused. Estel looked around once more, getting ready to run, and his eye caught on an object in a nearby tree, above the orcs heads. Giving an evil grin, he fired one more arrow, knocking it out of the tree. As the hornet's nest hit the ground and broke open, a swarm of angry hornets flew out and began attacking every moving body nearby. As the orcs began screaming and swatting at the irritating insects, Estel stood up and started running. His heart was pounding in time to the dozens of booted feet he heard coming after him.

'This may be the stupidest thing I have ever done,' he thought as he led a large number of orcs away from the clearing. He held his sword in his hand as he ran, using it to cut the vines he had rigged as triggers for various traps. The first trap he set off sent small logs suspended on vines swinging down from the trees. The logs had poisoned spikes embedded in them, and at least ten orcs fell to the trap. The second trigger released several saplings that he had tied down. When the trees snapped back to their original position, they launched a rain of the small, sharpened sticks. Many more orcs fell to this second trap. He led the orcs on a chase through the woods, triggering a couple more traps as he went.

It took a moment for the silence to sink into Estel's consciousness. As he realized that the sounds of pursuit had ceased, he risked a glance back over his shoulder. The path behind him was empty. He turned back around and suddenly found himself flat on his back. His head was spinning, and his vision was blurred. As his vision slowly cleared, he saw a low hanging branch directly above him. The pain in his head was excruciating, and he slowly raised a hand to his forehead. The bump he found caused him to pull his hand quickly away, and he stared in confusion at the blood on his fingertips. A harsh voice spoke nearby and sent a shiver of fear down his spine.

"Well, what have we here? Could this mewling young human be behind all our trouble?"

Estel looked up in fear at the ugly distorted features of the creature looming over him. Despite the pain in his head, he lunged sideways, reaching for his dropped sword. A heavy, booted foot stomped down onto his wrist, pinning it to the ground. Estel could not help the short cry that escaped him at the sharp sudden pain in his wrist. A painful sting at his neck brought his attention back to the orc. He found himself staring up the length of an orc sword, which was now pressed against his neck.

The orc glanced at someone across Estel's prone form. "It will be easy enough to kill this frail human. Then we need to get back and help the others get those insufferable elves under control."

Estel panicked as he saw the orc sword rise high above his head. He knew these moments would be his last.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six

Elladan watched as the orcs gathered in a circle around him and the others. He saw whips and chains in the hands of some of the orcs. 'Estel, whatever you intend to do, do it soon.' As if in response to his thoughts, a flaming arrow shot out of the depths of the forest. Elladan smiled as a nearby pile of leaves burst into blindingly bright flame. 'Narasea, impressive.' A second pile of leaves was set on fire, and a thick layer of smoke began filling the clearing. Arrow number three ignited an orc, and Elladan almost laughed out loud at the chaos that Estel was creating. Then Elladan heard Estel yell out to them. He told them where he had hidden stashes of weapons and where he intended to meet up with them later. The weapons were located just to his right, and Elladan leapt for the pile of leaves. His hands brushed the hilt of a knife, and he hastily grabbed it, turning the blade toward himself and slicing the ropes binding his hands. Flipping the blade around, he cut Elrohir's bonds and placed the knife in his brother's hands while he reached back for more weapons.

Elrohir turned and stabbed the knife he held into the heart of an orc who was about to attack Elladan. The pain from his injuries was excruciating, but he forced himself to ignore it as he focused on the fight. If he lost his concentration, he and Elladan could both die. That was something he could not allow, no matter the amount of pain created by his movements. Elladan called his name, and Elrohir turned to find a sword being tossed to him. Snatching the sword out of the air, Elrohir turned back to the orcs with a grim smile on his face. Elladan was soon standing at his back, and they cut down any orc to approach them through the smoke. Several minutes into the battle, there came the sound of arrows being fired. As the piles of leaves burned themselves out and the smoke began to clear, the twins glanced around the clearing. The four elves were the only beings still standing.

Elladan looked up suddenly as a group of elves strode out of the woods, led by Glorfindel. "Mae govannen, Glorfindel! Well met, indeed! How did you come to be here when we needed you most?"

Glorfindel swept an experienced eye over the battle scene. "We intercepted a horse that carried Gelmir's body and a note from Estel."

"Estel!" Elladan exclaimed. He looked quickly to where he had last seen his brother. The stand of bushes was empty. "He led the orcs away, making himself the target." Elladan sprang away from the others and raced off in the direction that Estel had disappeared in.

Glorfindel gestured for three members of his patrol to stay with Elrohir, Findgil and Ciril. He told the other two elves to accompany him, and they ran after Elladan.

---------------------------------------------

Estel knew that he was about to lose his life, and had to do something, anything to stay alive. Quickly grabbing the knife at his belt, he slashed the leg of the orc wielding the sword. He had coated the edge of his knife with the poison, so the orc stiffened above him as his muscles were immediately paralyzed. 'Maybe this wasn't such a good idea,' Estel thought as he saw the orc begin to fall toward him. The sword was still aimed at his neck. 'I'm sorry, Ada,' he thought as he saw his all too short life coming to an end.

Suddenly, an arrow streaked out of the woods, striking the sword and altering its downward trajectory enough so that when the orc fell on top of Estel, the sword embedded itself in the ground six inches from his head. However, Estel was too busy trying to catch his breath to fully appreciate the fact that he was still alive. More arrows filled the air around him, and Estel heard several thuds as bodies fell nearby.

-------------------------------------------------

"Estel!" Elladan raced to his brother's side once he and Glorfindel's patrol had annihilated the orcs surrounding Estel. Estel lay unmoving beneath the bulk of a very large orc. Elladan shoved the orc off of Estel and knelt down beside him. A visual inspection assured him that his brother was very much alive, but gasping for breath. Reaching down, Elladan gently traced his fingers along his brother's ribs, checking for breaks or fractures. A broken rib could all too easily puncture his lungs.

"Get off," Estel gasped out. "I'm fine, 'Dan. Just…got the wind…knocked out of me."

Elladan ignored him and continued his examination. Estel had a very large bump on his forehead, but luckily, it wasn't bleeding as much as head wounds usually did. When Estel began trying to sit up, Elladan helped him, not having found any reason to keep him down. Elladan frowned as he saw Estel cradle his hand against his body. "Let me see that," Elladan insisted, gently grabbing Estel's arm above his wrist.

Estel winced as his oldest brother prodded his wrist and hand. There was no way to pretend that there was nothing wrong with his wrist now.

"I don't think it's broken," Elladan said finally. "There may be some small break I can't detect, though. We need to splint this to keep it stable until we can get you back home to Ada."

Estel groaned. "Ada will never let me leave Imladris again, will he?"

"I do not recall him allowing you to leave this time," Elladan pointed out. At Estel's wince, he decided to change the subject. The lecture could wait until they were away from this place. Elladan began putting a splint on Estel's wrist, and asked a question to keep his mind off of the pain. "What did you do to all the orcs I saw littering the path?"

"Pergurth," Estel answered simply.

Elladan's eyebrows crept upwards in surprise. "Very impressive. But as quickly as the poison acts, it does not kill very quickly." He nodded toward Glorfindel, who drew his sword and swiftly stabbed the heart of the orc that had nearly taken Estel's head. At Estel's questioning look, Elladan explained. "We are not like the orcs, Estel. Leaving an enemy to die by a lingering poison is not our way." He hastened to reassure Estel as he saw the crestfallen look on the boy's face. "Given what you were facing, pergurth was the best choice. Now that the battle is over, though, we should grant our enemies a quick, clean death." He squeezed Estel's shoulder as he finished splinting his wrist. "And now we need to head back to the others. They may be worried that we have been gone too long." Elladan stood up and grasped Estel's good hand to pull him to his feet. He reached down and picked up Estel's sword, then handed it over to him. "Do you understand what we have to do?"

Estel nodded solemnly as he took his sword in his uninjured hand. As they walked back to the clearing, they took the time to dispatch each of the fallen orcs they passed. Elladan would have protected him from the task, but it was Estel who had poisoned the orcs, and it was he who felt he must take responsibility for their deaths. Elladan winced as he saw the closed expression creeping over Estel's face more with every orc he killed. This was something he wished his little brother had never had to experience.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven

By the time they reached the clearing, all four elves and Estel were spattered with the black blood of the orcs. Estel was exhausted. The emotional whirlwind did more to tire him than the evening's physical exertions. As a result, Estel was practically asleep on his feet when they returned to the others.

"Estel!" Elrohir hurried over to meet his brothers and Glorfindel. Estel stopped in his tracks as Elrohir appeared in front of him. Elrohir pulled his young brother gingerly into an embrace, wincing at the pressure on his ribs. The pain was unimportant, however, he was more relieved than he ever thought he could be to see both his siblings alive and walking. He released Estel, then stepped back to look him over. Estel gazed back at him with a dull look in his eyes. The spark of life that usually danced in those grey depths was conspicuously absent.

"Elladan?" Elrohir questioned, looking worriedly to his twin.

Elladan simply shook his head. "He just needs sleep. He will be fine." He glanced around the clearing and sighed. "We still have much work to do. We will not be traveling this night." Turning to Glorfindel, Elladan asked him to take Estel to a safe place away from the clearing, get him cleaned up and bedded down.

Glorfindel nodded and placed a hand on Estel's shoulder, steering him away. Elrohir watched as Estel made no protest at being led off like a child. He turned to Elladan. "What happened? I have never seen Estel like this. It frightens me, El."

Elladan sighed deeply. "He found Gelmir's body, realized we were held by orcs, and worked feverishly to mount a rescue. He was nearly killed by an orc. If we had been even seconds later in arriving…" He stopped as a shudder ran through him at the memory of seeing his brother about to die. Running a hand tiredly over his face, he continued. "I told Estel that we had to give the orcs he had poisoned a quick death. I never meant for him to do it, but he insisted on taking responsibility for his own actions. We tried to kill as many as we could before Estel could get to them, but there were more than enough for the five of us. He has killed in battle tonight, El, and discovered that it is very different than killing during a hunt."

They both glanced worriedly back toward where Glorfindel had taken Estel. "He will not have an easy time of this, El," Elladan said worriedly. "He has such a gentle spirit; I would not see it broken by tonight's events." Looking his younger twin in the eyes, he remembered how badly Elrohir had taken their first time in battle. Shooting Elladan in the leg had only made it worse for Elrohir. They could joke about it now, but at the time, it had been the source of many nightmares for his twin. "I need you to stay with him tonight, El. Be there to soothe him if he has nightmares. If he wakes, he will need to see a familiar face nearby. I think you would be the best to help him through this."

Elrohir nodded solemnly and turned to limp off after Glorfindel and Estel. With a start, Elladan realized that in his concern over Estel, he had forgotten about Elrohir's injuries. "Wait! Have you had your injuries tended to?"

Elrohir looked back at him. "Yes, Elladan. Ciril cleaned and bandaged my leg and bound my ribs while we waited for your return. Do not worry. I am fine. You should have your own injuries seen to."

Elladan nodded and let his brother leave. He joined the other elves in the clearing to help them clean up the area. Ciril stopped him long enough to clean and bandage the gash on his head. By the time his injuries were taken care of, Glorfindel had returned, having been relieved of his duty to Estel by Elrohir.

Throughout the rest of the night and into the morning, they worked to pile and burn the orc bodies and rid the area of the poison spikes that Estel had spread about. It truly was an ingenious battle tactic, but it took much time and care to clean up afterwards. They could not leave so much as a single spike behind to catch an unwary traveler. Several hours after dawn, they had finished and staggered wearily into the camp that Elrohir had set up while Estel slept.

Elladan sat down next to Elrohir. "Has he stirred?"

Elrohir shook his head. "He has slept as the dead. I believe he is numb, in shock. It has not yet truly sunk in what has occurred."

Elladan nodded in understanding. He took the food that Elrohir handed him and ate automatically. It had been some time since he had last eaten, but he could not enjoy this meal.

Estel woke up as the others ate and relaxed in the camp. Despite the best attempt of his brothers, Estel would not speak more than a few words at a time. Most of those words consisted of variations on "I'm fine," and "Leave me alone." As Estel was obviously in no mood to talk, they finally stopped trying. They had to be satisfied with getting him to eat and drink.

After a brief rest, they broke camp, mounted their horses and headed home. Since they had fewer horses than people, Elladan and Elrohir had to ride double, as did Findegil and Ciril. Elladan made sure to stay near Estel on the journey home. Estel remained quiet and withdrawn, speaking very little and paying no attention to his surroundings. Midway through their journey home, they were met by a large group of elves riding out from Imladris.

"Ada!" the twins exclaimed simultaneously. They were very surprised to see their father leading the contingent. He did not ride out to do battle anymore, he had given that up long ago.

The relief in their father's eyes at seeing all three of his sons alive made it clear why he had chosen to ride out this time. His eyes took in the bandages and bruises decorating the bodies of his sons and several other elves. He observed the listless demeanor of his youngest son and frowned in concern.

Glorfindel opened his mouth to make a report, and Elrond shook his head. "Not now, my friend. We need to get the injured back home. But once I have finished my examinations, I will want to hear the full story. Is that clear, my sons?"

"Yes, Ada," the twins replied quickly.

"Estel?" Elrond questioned.

"Of course, Ada," Estel answered softly.

Elrond glanced worriedly at his youngest son, then gestured for the others to head back to Imladris. He took up a position beside Glorfindel and quietly asked him how he had become involved. Glorfindel told him about encountering Glemir's horse and heading immediately to help. He described everything he had seen, including Estel's rather unique rescue plans.

Elrond closed his eyes at finding out how close Estel had come to being killed. He berated himself for not sending a patrol out after Estel. If he had done that, Estel would not have had to confront so many orcs on his own. But Elrond could not help but be impressed by Estel's resourcefulness. His plan had succeeded admirably in creating enough confusion for the patrol to fight their way free. Despite the fact that he had nearly been killed, it was a good plan. And the ability to remember and re-create the poison showed that he had been paying attention in his lessons. Elrond sighed. This showed him that Estel truly was growing up, and Elrond could no longer stand in his way.

After getting Glorfindel's report, he moved his horse to ride alongside his sons. Estel refused to meet his eyes, and Elrond glanced questioningly over to the twins. Elladan caught his eye and shook his head slightly. What he had to say should not be spoken in front of Estel. They rode back home without speaking about their capture or the battles.

Once they arrived home, Elrond insisted on examining each of those injured in battle. He was satisfied with the treatment they had received, but he cleaned all of the cuts and abrasions again to prevent infection. He re-bandaged many cuts, and he re-bound Elrohir's ribs. In inspecting Estel's wrist, he discovered that some of the bones had cracked. The wrist would have to stay immobilized to allow the bones to heal and avoid further damage. He re-splinted his wrist, then sent Estel to his room to rest. He wanted to speak with the twins and find out their side of events.

Their discussion lasted quite awhile, and the twins shared their concerns about Estel's state of mind. Elrond sat in his library for some time after the twins left, thinking about the best way to approach Estel. When he finally got up to head to Estel's room, he was still unsure what he wanted to say. He knocked lightly on the door, and received no response. He pushed the door open slowly. If Estel was sleeping, he would let him rest for now. The bed was empty, and Elrond's gaze scanned the room quickly. He found Estel standing on the balcony, leaning on the railing, looking out over the valley. Elrond walked slowly over to stand next to Estel. He looked down at the face of his youngest. Estel's gaze was unfocused, staring at nothing in particular. Elrond would have been very surprised if Estel even knew he was there.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter Eight

"Estel?" Elrond asked softly.

Estel jumped slightly, then turned to face his father. "I'm sorry, Ada," he burst out.

Elrond didn't think he was apologizing for not seeing his father approach. "What are you sorry for, Estel?"

"I'm sorry for disobeying you, Ada. You were right; I'm not ready to be out there. I don't know if I ever will be."

Elrond gazed calmly at his son. This was quite a turnaround, but he should have expected something like this. "Why do you say that? From what your brothers tell me, you did quite well out there. You did far better than many grown elves would have in your place."

"I didn't," Estel ground out, turning away. "I was scared, Ada." The last was said in a whisper. "I was so scared. The orc was going to kill me. If Elladan and Glorfindel hadn't been there…"

Elrond swallowed suddenly. The thought that his son had nearly died out there tormented him, but he had to approach this calmly. Facing the fact that your life could end very abruptly in battle was something that all warriors had to face, even elves, but it was never an easy thing. "Estel, listen to me. You did very well. You were very brave in luring the orcs away from your brothers. All soldiers feel fear, my son. A good warrior will keep fighting despite the fear. Elladan tells me that when it looked like you were about to die, you grabbed your knife and poisoned the orc. You kept fighting. You did not let your fear stay your hand. As long as you can keep fighting, there is a chance for escape. Bravery is not the lack of fear, but the ability to keep going despite your fear. There is certainly no shame in being afraid on the battlefield, my son. I cannot even tell you the number of times I have felt fear strike at my heart. I have feared for my own life, and more often, for the lives of those I love. There is no shame in that, Estel." Elrond repeated himself several times trying to get the words to sink into Estel's mind. He could not let Estel think that he had failed them by being afraid.

Estel glanced up at his father, the sheen of unshed tears glistening in his eyes. Elrond could tell that he wanted desperately to believe what his father was telling him. Elrond let him see the truth in his own eyes, then pulled his son into his arms. Estel rested his head against Elrond's shoulder, and clung tight to his father.

"Ada?" Estel's soft voice was muffled in Elrond's robes. "I did not like killing. I know the orcs are evil, and don't deserve to live, but they were just lying there when we killed them. Because of the poison, they couldn't fight back, and we just put them down, like you would a rabid dog."

Elrond closed his eyes. He might have known there was more bothering his son than the fact that he had been afraid. But he did not have nearly so easy an answer here. "I understand how difficult that was for you, Estel. I wish you had not had to take a life so soon. This is the hardest thing a warrior will ever have to come to terms with. All I can tell you is what you already know. Orcs were created with only evil intent in mind. They will never be anything but evil, they are not capable of feeling love, only hate. They hate all those who do not serve evil, and they even hate many of their own. They will never be able to feel a gentle emotion, Estel. You found a very apt comparison. In many ways, orcs are like rabid dogs. They will kill any being to cross their path. If you had given them the antidote, they would have turned and tried to slit your throat. You were being merciful by giving them a quick death, Estel. Beyond that, I have no answers. I hope you never easily take a life, even that of an orc. I do not want you to ever be comfortable with dealing out death, for that would mean you had lost your soul to the love of battle. I could not bear to see that happen to you. So mourn when you are forced to take a life. But in war, do not hesitate because you do not want to kill. That will only get you killed. You must find a balance for yourself between fighting for your life and the lives of those you are trying to protect, and treasuring life the way I know you do." Elrond sighed heavily. "You have come across one of the great questions of life for which there are no answers Estel. I cannot tell you how to feel, or how to handle this. You must figure your way through this on your own. But I will always be here to listen whenever you want to talk through it, or anything else."

Elrond pulled back and looked his son in the face. "Remember that, Estel. I will always be here for you."

"Even when I disobey you?" Estel looked at his father, and let the smallest of smiles turn up the edges of his lips. He was so relieved that his father did not think less of him for being afraid, or for having a problem with killing the orcs.

"Yes, Estel, I will even be here for you when you disobey me. There is nothing you could do to cause me to stop loving you. Do you not know that by now?" Elrond was glad to see a spark of life in his son's eyes again. He would have a difficult time coming to terms with the battle, but he would find his way through it. Estel just shrugged, and Elrond continued. "That does not mean, however, that you will not be punished for your disobedience. I think that a week of kitchen duty would suffice, once your wrist is healed, of course."

"Of course, Ada," Estel answered. He had gotten off lighter than he had expected.

"But, though you disobeyed my orders, you managed to prove your point quite clearly, Estel."

"Ada?" Estel was unsure of his father's meaning.

"You proved your skills on the battlefield, Estel. I have no choice but to admit that you are growing up. You are a fine young man, and you will obviously make a fine warrior. I will not stand in your way any longer. When your brothers next ride with the Dúnedain, you will accompany them."

Estel's eyes widened. "Do you really think I am ready, Ada?"

"Yes, Estel, I do."

"Very well, Ada. You know best." Estel bowed his head toward his father, and Elrond could see the sparkle of excitement in his eyes.

"There is one other small issue that we need to discuss, ion-nin."

"Yes, Ada?"

"When you are running from an enemy, never look over your shoulder, Estel. It slows you down, and you are then unable to see the path in front of you."

Estel had to laugh at that. He reached up to rub his forehead ruefully. "Trust me, that is a lesson I will never forget, Ada."

Elrond draped his arm around his son's shoulders and turned to look back over the valley. Things were changing, but all was well. His sons were safe at home, and they would all help Estel get through the aftermath of his first battle. By the time spring came around, when the twins next planned to join the Dúnedain, Estel would be more than ready to head out of Imladris once more.

The End


End file.
